I have been climbing out of a depressive episode over the last few months and I am finally feeling like a normal person again. Of course, by normal, I mean not being overwhelmed by sadness or numbness to the point that I could not function in the outside world. I have been taking steps to recover and I have worked hard to find relief. I was not able to bootstrap myself up alone. Therapy, medication, and family support all played parts in the puzzle. I am still working to continue my upward journey. Exercise and social interaction are some of the biggest factors in my continued success. I have been enjoying talking with people and I have felt less fear about putting myself out in the world, and opening myself to judgment and opinions. One of the things that I have been able to do for myself lately is believe in my own worthiness to exist. It still feels a bit like bragging but I am writing this for myself and other people’s opinions are their own.
I am enough. This body is enough. I deserve to hold space in this world and society. I am strong, kind and compassionate. I have survived 41 years of economical, political, emotional, and cultural ups and downs. My body has been pregnant 3 times and given birth twice. This body has loved, lost, hated, and recovered. It has felt the pain and numbness of postpartum depression and major depression. It has felt the love and encouragement of family and friends. This body gives really good hugs. It can ride a bike and run and hike and challenge itself physically. It enjoys cookies, cake and candy. The shape of this body is the result of a life lived. This body can push through overwhelming fatigue to get to the end of the day and wake up the next morning to do it all again. This human can set aside her own needs to care for others and then realize that her own needs are important too. This body is perfect in its imperfection. I am what I am and that is enough.
